.:a sUdDeN sLiP:.

2nd day of O&G ..

I decided to get up early so I dont have to fight for the changing room with the girls at the maternity house (apparently, Russians have a very keen idea about unisex..they’ve got unisexual changing rooms, wards, and even toilets)

I have no idea Mrs Vejay-jay already waiting for me at the front door

Here’s what happen

My Attendance (At) : Ahh..u arrived early, where are the others?
Me : No one arrives yet, should I get change first?
At:  Quickly, change into your surgical suit..today you’ll be my main assistant (WHAT ?????)

I gulped to the occassion..wondering why…on earth, had I decided to come early today???

Me : (after changing into Surgical suit) Yes Dr, how could I be of any assistance to you ? (this civilised conversation upfront can be simplified in RUssia into these : "Vam pomoch shto-nibud?")

At: Of course..follow me

We stepped into the labor room 2, and…

Att : Dr Helmi, this is our beautiful women, you can call her Natasha, 19 years old (Gosh!! is that how a-19-yo Mrs Vejay-jay look like? )-. As you can see, she is already in the end of the first stage of pregnancy . There is contraction of uteris and its dilatation accompanied by the cervix full dilatation. We expect a delivery soon

Me : Uhuh ("OK,..so, am I suppose to understand anything since I just started my cycle yesterday and the only thing I knew about OBGNY is the layout of the department?")

Att : Today you will assist me and the other midwives, as you can see, there is no other miwives around because this is a busy morning. I want you to feel her uterine contraction (and she stretch my arm towards the woman’s belly), and whenever you start feeling the contraction..ask her to take a deep breath, push, and then rest to catch up her breath..

Me : Oh…ok..I guess I can do that, but….

Att : Excellent !!! I will then leave you up here…we expect a beautiful pregnancy soon..good luck, I will go and find your colleagues

and then she just LEAVE…leaving me here all alone with the poor mother..

WTF just happen ??? am I really am going to conducting this delivery??..I got so many questions in my head that I never had thought before..I mean, I knew that the dept is all divided into several wards and our professor name is Zharkin, but..how do I know :
1. How does it feel when the uterine started to contract?
2.Where should I palpate to feel the contraction?
3. What is the Russian word for "PUSH"??
4. WHen do I ask her to stop?

Ok…I’m panicking..someone please come and save me??
uh…MRs veejay-jay started to smling wickedly at me

I took my post beside the pregnant women and absent-mindedly put my hand onto the epigastric region, assuming that is the correct places where I could palpate the fundus uteri.

Mother : Is it going to be long??
Me : Uh..its gonna take some time

(after 20 seconds)

Mother : Is it going to finish soon?
Me : A little bit later..u just hang in there..

(after another 5 seconds)

Mother : its gonna end soon, right ?
Me : Of course (me giving her my award-winning fake smile) oh..cmon already

then I felt a kinda vibration on her belly, which I ignorantly assume as a sign of uterus contraction, since her face contract as well, (what I dont realise is that my gut contracted as well, giving me the rush of feeling that I really need a pee at that particular moment)

Mother : Uh………..
Me : Ok Natasha, I want you to take a deep breath..and push..
( i somehow managed to formulate all this word into Russian languange since I remember the sign PUSH in the door face, written there as OT SEBYA - which is actually a hillarious line for an intern student since it sound like this " Kharasho Natasha, delaite gluboki vidokh, a patom, ..uh..ot  sebya..silno") p/s : OT SEBYA  is not even a verb

Mother : UH………….
Me : OK…good…good …you are doing good

Mother : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me : OK…enough… ( I dont know when she need to stop actually, but since she started screaming like hell, I figure out it might be the best sign indicating that she need a break)

THis cycle of unsure orders and lucky guess ,- filled with guilt emotion and increasing hatred towards Mrs Vejay-jay and her partner Mr Peter-pen-ess (why couldnt they just keep a lil bit proximity between them?)- continue for up to 20 minutes

Then a junior midwives came in, and gave me a weird look

From her eyes : "WTF are u doing here?"
From my eyes : "I was asked by some mad Dr to conduct a delivery"
From her’s : "Do u even know how to spell delivery??"
From my eyes : I think I can guess it from the Pizza-Hut box I religiously ordered every Saturday night during my summer holiday in Malaysia" p/s : no pizza-hut in Volgo

She then took a fetal stethoscope (do not even imagine how it looks like!!) and start auscultating something

She to the mother : "Natasha u are doing great..cmon..cmon..push some more"
She to me (I guess) : "…and u are not even being helpful"
Me to her : "Of course, she is superb"
She to me (while spinning her eyes) : Good, then u can rot in here and help her through this misery

then..she leaves..and again..I was all alone
* the "to me" part is mostly my own monologue

40 minutes later…

Mom (at 20th contraction) : "Uh….."
Me : "OK..breath..push…cmon..cmon (I was just following the Jr Midwives)
then a senior midwives came accross and shout at me
Senior midwives : "What cmon-cmon!!! ask her to stop!!!"
Me : "uh??? ok…uh…ok…stop2"
(shit!!! what should I do actually???)

I heard the buzzing of conversation out there, and realised that my colleagues were already there outside the labor room. Strangely enough, Our attendant asked them to stay outside while enjoying kicking my ass with the guilt and nervous feeling. At that particular moment, I knew a janitor perhaps knows much more about how to conduct a delivery rather than me…and…I hate Mrs Vejay-jay a little bit more than before..she seems really enjoying rubbing it on my face..

Mom : Is the baby coming out?"
(SHit !!! what is that?? OMG!! its the baby head!! or is it just feces?? Im really not sure)
Me : UH…yeah.a lil bit more
Mom : Is it coming out at all?
Me : Of course, when the time is right (I dont even know how I manage to slip off all this comforting-sounds words..I guess my dad’s psychologist thingy does run in my blood)

Soon, a group of midwives comes, and after asking me to help lift the woman onto the Labor bed, one of them asked me to stay beside the woman. ITs already the second stage, and I could see the vagina dilate more, and the uterine contraction was more intensive..

Mom : AAAAHHHHHHHH!!! (and she grabbed my wrist)
Me (thinking) : Something bad gonna happen
Mom : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH (and she scratched my wrist with her French-manicure nails)
Me (in my heart ) : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

soon all my friends come in, and several minutes later the delivery was a complete success (except that we need to cut a lil bit of the women perineum to give more space for the baby to come out)

With her hand still grabbing the newborn, covered with amniotic fluid, she looked at me and said "Thank you"

Me : "No..you did it all by yourself" (trying to be kind)
Mom : (extending her amniotic-covered hand and grasped me by the arms) "But, you helped"
Me : "Uh..of course" (YUUUCCCCKKKSSS!!!!)

so, the whole incidents conclude with the usual happy ending and they-live-happily-ever-after type of stories. And while walking back to our classroom, I managed to glimpse back at my medal-of-bravery today : yupss…a bleeding wrist due to the nail cut, covered with amniotic fluids from Mrs Vejay-jay

uh…I’m really gonna kick Mrs Vejay-jay ass….(does she even have any??)

For years I had a thing about labor, and all the O&G stuffs…yup, I pretty much dread it all..
And so when our O&G cycle begins..u could imagine how much I DONT want to be in the maternity house..

1st day, I was introduced to a layout of the department, and cute little babies, and their mother with the healthier-skin,glowing face and all..Everything seems like a nice breeding house for homo sapiens..there’s even whale music..WHALE..OMG….and our Attending is kinda loving-mommy person..so not Dr Bailey…I mean, emotional support and a pat in the shoulder is considerable, but she does go to that extra mile when she prepared us tea during our break..no its not metaphoric..she really served us TEA !! complete with china set and stuffs!!

OK…so I didnt really like staring at Mrs Vejay-jay that much..and I went back home and start throwing out all about how I felt to Haneem..(I practically scream to her .. I CANT STAND ANYMORE VEJAY-JAY)..

Little did I know how Mrs Vejay-jay will react the next day. Apparently, she called up her fraternity group (yes, thats an Alpha-Vejay-Teta) and set up her plan with all the other Vj’s on how to pay a revenge towards my innocent-hatred to them…..

2nd day of O&G cycle….to be continued…

yesterday we got so lucky..

while attending the boring O&G lecture (sorry, it really bores me ..huhu) so suddenly we;re out of electricity..

while this is not that rare in a post-communis country like Russia (I suppose they need to withdraw the electricity from civil sector to feed the energy-hungry nuclear silo) it usually pose no problem to us since most of our lecture hall is well-lit with sunlight. But this time, our lecture hall is located at the basement..so imagine the darkness and damp air..yup, its like those scene from Resident Evil

However,after waiting uselessly for around 10 minutes, the lecturers (both O&G and Ophthalmology decided to postpone our lecture to the next week). We jumped to the occassion - i dont care if it hurt his feeling - and decided to grab a popcorn n movie..lupa lak posa…
 

p/s: the cliche’..is that, since I’m among the last person leaving the
lecture hall, I did notice that we got back our electricity in merely a
milisecond after I step out from the hall….LARI!!! nnti kena panggil balik…hahahah

Haha..this post might irritate haneem a lil’ bit..since during her cycle she didnt have the chances to see a single x-ray film..

me on the other hand, -since I need to get through so many shit nowadays- got lucky on this one..

Our lecturer seems more enthusiastic compared to Haneem’s…he’s so dedicated and eager to show us around the department…showed us how the x-ray tomography works,..yeah, the whole thing included us need to go upstairs and downstairs like ..7 times?? adoi..puasa cikgu..

Albeit the cramped classroom (Imagine the three-person room in Hostel, filled with 16 people..make that 17 - me count as 2 person) I couldnt resist the fact that this is one class which I actually WANT to go..although the journey took up as much as 1 hour, and I had to get out from the hostel like ..at 7.50 am..need to walk down to Sedmaya Gvardeiskaya..and change to another line at Komsomolskaya.. Well, actually we can go out a lil’ bit late..but I’m a slow-walker..and since I had a history of getting on the wrong bus TWICE..I really need a spare time so I can undo all my clumsiness and reach there at 9 am pronto

Its really interesting to analyze the x-ray film..although its black and white (unlike any TV series I’m watching right now) ..but the idea of to be able to guess people age by looking at their bone really make my heart jump a lil’ bit ok..me exaggerating..

btw haneem, since you didnt get the chance to see any X-ray, I captured all the film on my PDA and upload it into my laptop..so in case u wanna check them out, just login to our hostel network and dig through my laptop

this is one special film. Its an x-ray of fetus inside a woman’s womb..however, this procedure is quite hazardous and its no longer in practice nowadayays..so u can imagine the picture was taken during the Soviet era, and the fetus perhaps nowadays is sitting somewhere gulping a bottle of beer and smoke so many cigarattes it could be his lunch.

Happy 21st birthday to safwan…welcome to the box!!! ( u know those box in forms usually where they ask u to indicate your age..now you can tick on the "21 and above" box) hehe

sori celebrate hambar sket..huhu..since takde air kat hostel, sumer org takde mood nak makan kek,..takut2 ..hehe..paham2 jer la..n lgpun me got a cold, so I couldnt be the usual hyperactive-quite-irritating-to-some-especially-mama MC..

maintain vogue!!

Perhaps its quite late..but anyway this is a great pic..and it’d only be better if I still have my nokia Hp. This pda lens-finder sucks…

anyway..Hepi Birthday gurl…

At the first sight, when he turned out to be our lecturer, there’s a moment of silence in the air (read: girls gasping for air..or so I suppose). He walked in with his all-black suit, unsmiled, and the most piercing eye stating "I’m gonna rip each of your head off so fast you wont be able to scream ‘mommy’"

The atmosphere stayed for ..at most, 5 minutes ..before he started reading his lecture..

and so here are some quotes:

Those word in quotation, is his..and for the sake of understanding, I provide the closest transliteration I could manage to think about (Oh, arent I’m that great in insulting Russians. go me!!!)

"ray - lex" = relax
"ak-kom-po-naid" = accompanied
"per-kus-s-sion"/ "per-kusyen" = percussion
"kink" = ?????

"brekket" = ( )
"cow-lawn" = :
"mu-shel" = ???muscle perhaps
"not WILL pronounce" = ????
"razor" = rather
"tense-syon" = tension
"braing" = bring
"soom" = some

"behavor" = behaviour
"un-n-zhures" = anxious
""tig" = thigh
"wan-set" = onset
"quest-ening" = questioning
"over-he-ging" = overhanging
"ujen" = urgent
"va-geeee-na" = vagina
"martial"=muscle
"muskel"=muscle
"sing-koop"=syncope

hahahha….aren’t he cute after all

I suppose we all knew the time when we’re told to "Watch out" for something

"watch out about what you said" - or you’ll never get laid
"watch out about what you eat, it goes straight down your ass" - hooky - pooky, I let all of it pass
"think about what you talk" - say anything, I’ll even eat a chalk

I suppose it let all us - or maybe it just me - to become "A control freak"So nowadays, most of the time when I face people - let alone talk to them - my head turn into a 512Mhz processor with dual core, processing about the info & possibilities "should I say this? is this proper? am I gonna say the wrong things?"  while all the time, still sending a signal to my tongue and bucco-facial muscle to elicit the act of conversation. Talk about multitasking here…

It turn out ..sometimes I get pretty tired of watching out for other people feelings. Or at some point, about hiding my own feeling. I might didnt like something, but for God sake, since everyone else enjoy it, and I rather to be a pacifist, I continue to enjoy the whole thing..and sometimes people blaming us for something -if not everything-and then the world turn out black and dark for us.

Its not easy nowadays to let people hear our part of the story. Sometimes it burden me so much I felt like exploding, but anyway I keep a small black diary under my pillow where I wrote all my bad feelings there..Kidding la…

BUt really, its nice to have someone to listen to my part of the story