holding everything together…
Mood : disappointed, tired,
A friend of mine once told me that I have a gift , an ability to join up people from every corner of life, mix them up in a bowl, and it will just….work
I wasnt very sure if that was a compliment…
Recently, more and more thing within and around me started to broken into pieces. A new one broke into a large pieces, while those old stuffs I used to carry now broken even more into small crumbles.
I just wish I could release them all from my grasp. To let all of these pieces fell down or blown by the wind. And Im not just, simply, wishing. I wish hard. Hard enough that it got into my dream..
And that is where the line all began…
In reality, I am expected to hold everything together. When there’s two people close to me arguing , I am expected to mend them back. A disagreement, an issue of disloyalty, trust, and everything else ugly. People just thought that I can glue them all back into one beautiful piece of art and then paint them down to make it more cheerful..
Which I have - at least until now- successfully did. I learned how to put a sweet face in front of a heated argument. I pretend to be neutral although I tend to pick and choose side. When two people arent talking, I managed to be the bridge that connect them. And I thought it all worth it….for a better cause..
But its just too much now. Everything that I’ve been managed to held together start falling into pieces. I am using (and I am, I really am) my full strength to embrace everything, and give each of ‘em a touch of hope, trust, love, the belief that good thing still exist in this world..
Until I ended up unable to embrace even myself….
