Why the hatred??
Panick start rising..and I felt my chest strangled with something, and before I knew it, I actually stopped breathing…
..then I woke up, in the middle of the night, with the only thing next to me is the infinite deafness and darkness..
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The past few days, I am just not I am..
those who have been my friend long enough could really tell that, it is just not..
I was not who I used to be…
and yes…it is not who I am..
It just…who I choose to be (at least for the meantime)
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I used to believe in people. I used to believe in all good thing eventhough I never rejected the fact that we live in a chaotic world. I believed, at the end of the horizon, there’s always a silver lining…
..and when I realized that not everyone could reach that silver lining, I satisfied myself with simply hoping…hoping that one day I could be among the choosen one..
Thats what keep us humane. Thats what keep us sane. Thats what move us (or at least me) forward.
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When you pull a hope out of someone, you’ve actually commit a crime. And a large one out of that. U pull him out of his belief, out of his faith, out of his only means to get through this hectic life…
You turned him hopeless, and before you knew it..he would live..as a different person..
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Surely its not fair to blame u. There’s my part that should be blamed as well, like..why the hell I put on such high hope on you..
But of course, I’ve never asked for this to happen. I actually wish it never occured to me before. I had practically prayed once that God would turn me into someone numb. One without feeling. One who is indifferent to everything around him…
Only that I believe it never reached Him………….
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He wish he could turn to someone / something before its all too late….
